I drove east for 2 hours this morning to reach a home for girls where I was to present their worship for the week. As I drove, I watched the sun come up, behind clouds that threatened another round of snow. I hadn’t been sure I was even going to make it, with the previous days storms barely off the radar screen. The leader of the home, had even emailed me the night before seeing if I wanted to re-schedule. I said we would wait to see what the dawn brought. Long before the sun came up I was on my way. At one point, halfway to my destination snow squalls threatened to prevent my progress but I pushed on, determined that I would make it through. As I drove, I sang the songs I was to share with the “girls” and found I was feeling very vulnerable emotionally, and wondering just how I would be able to present worship without falling to pieces myself. That is hardly the picture I wanted them to see this morning. Strong in the Lord but falling to pieces inside.
I was to share my testimony with them. The not so pretty part of my growing up and various wrong paths I had taken in a desire to fill the void that was inside of me.
I arrived with time for a pre-tea visit with the ladies. Having no idea as to the age range I would be speaking to, I was surprised to see that all the current residents at this home were between 20-30 years of age.
We adjourned to the chapel after getting to know each other a little, and spent 30 minutes praising God through song. I was so blessed listening to and watching their faces as they sang. I joined them as we sang and felt that for this reason alone, I had been meant to be there.
I shared a song with them, His eye is on the sparrow, the very first song I had sung again in church after having come back to the Lord so many years before. And then I told my story. I had written out points but as I shared, I could see what aspects they were connecting to, and so I allowed the talk to go where I felt God was leading me.
And yes, I did get emotional as I shared with them how loving God is, and how I KNEW He had been watching over me all the while I was out there “in the world” wandering. I saw as some of them shed tears, not because of sadness for me, but because they were hurting too. I deeply cared that they too would cling to the surety of God’s love for them.
When I was away from God, I didn’t sing…. I couldn’t sing…. I guess secretly I didn’t want to sing because it would mean I was allowing God in, and I wasn’t ready for Him to change me.
I am so thankful that God allows me the opportunity to share my story with people. In some of the telling, I share more details that I don’t always share with others. Today I shared all the pain that comes from living life apart from God, and I shared all the healing and hope that comes from surrender to Him.
When the melody of the world, the song of satan loses its power over us, we can hear God. It is in hearing God speak to our heart that we hear the song God wants us to sing. If home is where our heart is, and we allow God access to our heart, no matter where we are, we are home. And it says in scripture that God has prepared a home for us, one that is so much better than the counterfeit that the enemy offers.
In John 14:1-3 Jesus says “do not let your hearts be troubled, you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many rooms, if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? and I WILL come back and take you to be with me, so that you also may be where I am.
What a wondrous promise, and I can only imagine, how beautiful it will be in Heaven.
Dear daughters, you, the princess of the God of the universe, the one listening to this. Life has beaten you up, and you are bruised and hurting. I know, I feel your pain. But you don’t have to live in fear, give your heart to Jesus, and let Him fill that place that you are so desperately trying to fill with things that do not bring peace to your mind or your heart. Turn the channel away from the poison satan is trying to make you hear, and listen to the song that God has been whispering into your heart.
“I will come back and take you to be with Me”… God has said “ I have loved you with an everlasting love”.
Listen to that song of love that He sings into your heart.
December 16, 2016